I never have to feel bad for having to fall for a story book character. He's him and I am me- the picture is whole, and I see him however I want him to be. He doesn't have to love me back for all I care, it does not need to be two-way. His presence is enough, and I can feel myself beam every time I hold a book in my hands. I'll have him all to myself; I'll do myself a favor every time I disintegrate in between breaks. I never even have to try to be my best self; I can be as broken as I want, for as long as I want. I can be weird, too, which is pretty much me all day all the way. Without having to hold the least bit back.
Now allow me to dissolve for the umpteenth time.